All my life I thought I had it together with God;however I was dead wrong the day I joined the army and left my comfort zone. Joining the army was something I wasn't suppose to do;however I did it anyway. I was raised in the church at such a tender age and I accepted Christ into my life at the age of 12 and also received the baptism of the Holy Ghost. God has blessed me with many talents which I used as I was growing up, however when I left home at the age of 19 I began to lose focus on God and slowly but surely I was slipping away from his plans and calling on my life. There are many mistakes I've made over that season in my life, but I know for such a time like this God has restored me and I want to thank those two individuals (their names are not important for God sees all and knows all) for allowing God to use you as willing vessels. It took me a minute to grasp what he wanted me to do but I thank the both of you for the patience and godly advice you gave me through it all. You see guys I was suppose to go to Kuwait last October but I didn't due to me being a heat casualty three times.I didn't go I was left here in the rear and at the time I didn't think it was because God was going to restore me to him because I was still running, doing trish... we all know how that goes.. nothing but pain,heartache and disappointment. I even had orders taking me to Hawaii this past April once again that wasn't his plan for me... As I sit back and think about it I just want to say Thank you Jesus! I was on fast track to hell and the devil was trying his hardest to take me out! First I met this one lady while being placed on staff duty for 6mths, each day she would come in always positive always having a word of encouragement despite my unchanging dispositons...I felt my spirit connect with her's and I knew this is a person God placed in my life, despite how many times I was disappointed by other people or hurt I took a chance because I was searching for peace,love and joy..Through this journey she gave godly instruction and even though I was listening with my ears my heart and mind still wanted to be in control. The same was when I met this other lady it's funny because each thing the first one would say the second would just confirm it all back to me.. still trish didn't want to submit, trish still didn't want to surrender... Months pass and for all the years I was running from God he was speaking to me through my poems.. How can this be you might say? The bible says God is forever married to the backsliders! Well May 7 came around the corner and I wrote this one poem "Today My Spirit Has Been Set Free" that was suppose to have been the day I completely surrendered but it wasn't my spirit was willing but my flesh was soo weak.I was attending church again but I hadn't given myself completely back to the Lord and even though I would tell the both of them I'm tired of running! I'm tired of living like this! those words had no meaning without some action to back it up with. They didn't give up on me though..no they didn't. The week of July 4 I was placed on duty and let me tell you the enemy was really playing with my mind, I felt like I was losing it for real! Well on July 4th the night I went into duty the devil was trying to take me out! On my way into work a dog ran in front of my car but thank God the blood of Jesus was covering me because I saw it just in time. While driving on base to find a parking spot since there wasn't any due to the fireworks display everyone was trying to see I had to go somewhere else to find a spot.On my way I was about to make a left turn thinking the MP who was directing traffic said I could go.. no that wasn't the case and on coming traffic was heading my way;however they stopped just in time thank you Jesus! or else a sistah would have been toast! After that I was in a state of shock. I couldn't believe what almost happened, you would think a girl would get it right with God right there and then huh? nope I didn't.. Well the 7 of July came around the corner and I went to see the first lady and was telling her I know what I need to do now and this time I'm serious no more playing games, no more running, no more living for me. Well she told me that they would be having church tonight and if I was serious I should go. I told her I would, after that I went down the hall to see the second lady lol! boy was I in for a double dose.. and sure enough she told me the same thing but with a warning...well if you know me you know I wasn't feeling that but her words stuck with me throughout the day.That night I did go to church and I died to my flesh,to my sinful nature, and to the old Trish. I finally let go and let God! Let me tell you I felt like 30 pounds was dropped off of me when I left that altar.. lol.. it has been the best thing that has happen to me. I found the way to Love I found it in God. I found my peace,joy and love. So for such a time like this I know without a shadow of a doubt that God placed those two individuals into my life! Today I know live by these words and even though satan took it from me I want it all back because Jesus has restored me!
Song by Tye Tribett " I want it all back"
You may have thought, you won that last round
You may have laughed (cuz) I almost fell down
Maybe you think I give up easy
But its not ovah, I got more in me
You thought I stopped, you thought I sat down
But I am standin', you made me mad now!
You got some things, I think you owe me
I've come to get back everything that you stole
You hit me hard, I should be knocked out
Things I've been through, don't even wanna talk about
You crossed the line (this time) you violated me
I want revenge (I want everything back from) A to Z
The battle?s not mine, the battle is the Lord?s
In the name of JESUS, I'm takin? it by force
If you only knew what I was gonna be
After the storm you wouldn't have even bothered me
(And now I'm) stronger
(And I got more) power
(I'm a little bit) wiser
(And I got more) strength
(I got thee) anointing
(Got God's) favor
(And I'm still) standing
I want it all back
Give me my stuff back, give me my stuff, give me my stuff back
I want it all
I want that,
What about your family and all your self-esteem, even your destiny?
What about the joy you tasted and the time you wasted, do you want it back?
What about your place in God and all your faith in God, even the ways of God?
What about your hopes and dreams and your communities, even your kids and teens?
I want it all back...
3 comments:
I am lovin this....especially since I just did exactly what you just said in this....the poem is EXTREMELY good (you should write for a record label)....I knew there was a reason we stayed tight regardless of where or how long I've known you....because I needed you...and you needed me to see that what you went through helped me get through my trials today...you are truly a blessing and I love you with all of my heart.
Tiffany
Trish, that was off the hook....the poem was it and your testimony is sooo good. I knew there was a reason you and me seem to connect regardless of how long ive known you or where we were...God helped you through and through your trial came great testimony. And with that victory you were able to lead me into victory. God is awesome and he is using you in a mighty way....don't let him go and I wont either
I am only a vessel and I thank God he is using me to touch your life as well as others. That was actually a song from Tye Tribbett I want it all back, I just connected with those words because those words have such meaning and it explains it all through my journey. Yes we can't let him go because without him where would we be and God is indeed awesome for all the marvelous things he has done in your life and mine and will continue to do. Stay blessed and always focused on the Lord, I love you too..
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