MARRIAGE...

I was actually suppose to write this the other day when this situation happen but I was still in shock. The other day I spoke to one of my ex's (were still cool) some of you may know this person whom I'm referring to.. for those who don't his name is not important but what he said.. Well we were on yahoo im talking and he said we should get married! time out... most ppl probably be happy,thrilled ,screaming etc.. whatever floats your boat.. newayz I laughed! I'm sorry dont take that the wrong way let me explain.. you see me and him broke up like mths back and last yr we actually talked about marriage once again it was him bringing it up; however that never happened due to complications we had in our relationship.. so even though we were broken up we still remain as friends (but it took a min for us to be cool again) needless to say the topic of marriage wasn't brought up again much less "us" in like what seems like forever... so u can see why I laughed ok.. ok well he said he was madly in love with me etc..etc.. look I sincerely believe he do even though he has strange ways of showing he do in the past and even in the present.. but that's not the point here.. my thing is I would want nothing more to be married even more to him however I can't.. do that.. you see recently I gave my life back to God, and my focused is on him now and it is going to stay that way. I love him yes, but I love God more and plus his life isn't right with God right now, and that is not what I want my foundation to be laid on. It has to be on God's foundation.. look I'm not the kind of girl who would want a guy to give his life to the Lord just for the sake to make me happy because then that is not love either.. if he's going to do it, it must be his own free will. I'm done messing with God's will it's not about me anymore its all about the Lord. If things are meant to be with me and this person so be it.If not then he wasn't the one God ordained me to be with. You may think I'm crazy but I'm not.. I've done a lot of hurting God and being disobedient in the past, and now it's time I live for God not Tricia. All I've gotten from being disobedient is nothing but pain and heartache.. everything that glitters is not gold! everything that seems right and fun at the time is only temporary.So to that individualI I will say this as much as I'm flattered and would love to marry you I must decline, beccause in God's sight it wouldn't be right. If someday you do give your life fully back to God maybe then if that's his will and purpose for our lives. I love you unconditionally but I love God more and nothing will ever be able to separate me from the love of God because I know who holds my future and my hand. I rather God take me away first from this earth than to let the devil have control of me permanently to do his work. I've come to far to give up now on me or mostly on God, but know this I will always have love for you no matter what the outcome..